The Words I Couldn't Say
by KakashiFangirlOfDOOM
Summary: Why was he so terrible? Why couldn't he just tell him those three little words? SpaMano! Rated T for Lovi's mouth. Yaoi; don't like, don't read.


**A/N: This is my first ever SpaMano story, I tried to keep them in character as much as possible. Please bear with me!**

**Also, I do not own Hetalia in any way, shape, or form.**

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><p>The Words I Couldn't Say.<p>

Warm sunlight filtered through the blinds of the small dormroom where the Mediterranean lovers made their home. The bright rays shone onto the small Italian male's face, waking him up rudely. He wrinkled his nose and sat up grudgingly, glancing down at his lover who was still in a deep slumber.

"Oi, tomato bastard." An annoyed Lovino shook the sleeping Spaniard next to him.

"Mmm, oh Lovino..." Antonio murmered, turning over on his side and wrapping his arms around the young boys waist. He nuzzled his cheek against the Italian's bare chest.

Lovino's face turned red from a mixture of anger and embarressment. "Bastard." He murmered, prying Antonio's tan arms from his lower abdomen. It didn't last for long, the Spaniard almost instantly reaching out for him again. Lovino wasn't having that, pushing the older man so hard he fell on the floor with a loud thump.

A few seconds passed before a head of chocolate brown hair rose slowly from it's position on the hard wooden floor.

"Ow, Lovi...that really wasn't necessary..." Antonio winced as he rubbed the now forming bruise on the side of his head. He stood up slowly and stretched, apparently having no shame in showing himself naked in broad daylight. "Mmm, what time is it?"

Lovino's normally pale cheeks turned as red as a tomato. "P-put some clothes on, you pervert!"

Antonio only smiled, his pain quickly forgotten. "Aw, come on Lovi, you shouldn't be saying that...you weren't protesting to my nakedness last night...in fact I think you liked it. Loved it, even."

Lovino plugged his ears in the middle of the Spaniard's sentence. "Shut up!" His face was scrunched up in irritation.

Antonio, however, found this adorable. "Aww, mi poco de tomate, que está tan lindo!" He tackled the Italian to the bed and began planting kisses all over his splotched face.

Lovino thrashed around furiously, pushing at the Spaniard's well muscled chest. "Get ohf meh!" He yelled, turning his head to the side. "We'll be late for class!"

"I don't care, I'm with my little Lovi!" Antonio cooed, hugging the Italian tight.

"Seriously, get off! And don't call me Lovi, bastard!" Antonio released him reluctantly, his grin never faultering. "Watch your mouth, mi tomate." He laughed, a tan hand gliding through chocolate brown hair. "Okay, time to start the day Spain's way!"

"Idiota." Lovino sighed and rolled his eyes as he began pulling on his shirt from the night before.

"Si, but I'm you're idiot!" Antonio grinned, yanking on his pants and nearly falling forward onto the bed. "Whoops!" He laughed, clutching his stomach and trying not to fall forward again.

"Come _on_, we don't have all day!" The Italian grimaced as he quickly brushed his hair, careful to avoid his curl.

"I know-'ey, Lovi, wait! Don't go without meee!" Antonio whined as the other male started walking out the door. He quickly picked up a shirt off the floor, giving it the quick sniff test before yanking it on. "Seriously, por favor?" He called out, looking around frantically for his keys. He quickly found them on the bedside table and pocketed them before grabbing his jacket and slinging his bookbag over his shoulder.

"Hey, close the door, bastardo." Lovino yanwed, leaning against the wall a few feet from their room.

The Spaniard beamed brightly. "Awh, mi tomate, you actually waited! Te amo!" He dropped his bag on the floor and ran to hug his little Italian lover.

"Yeah, yeah, now hurry up and lock the door, class starts in 10 minutes." Lovino tried to hide his blush as he was smothered by the older man and began trying to push him off. "Seriously, Antonio!"

"Awh, okay." Antonio let go reluctantly and went to lock the door. He picked his bag back up, slinging it over his shoulder again and ran to catch up with Lovino. Once he was by his side he reached down and twined their fingers together; something that soothed the both of them.

They walked in silence for a while, enjoying one another's company until Lovino broke the silence. "Seriously, why do I put up with you?" He sighed, the faint blush still upon his cheeks.

Antonio stopped and turned to face the Italian male. Lovino tried to jerk away but the brunette put his hand under his chin and forced him to look in his eyes. "Hmmm."

The blush fully returned to Lovino's cheeks, seeing as he was uncomfortable with being stared at. "What, what is it, you bastard?"

Antonio smiled, his teeth sparkling in the soft glow of the sun from a nearby window. "I can tell you why you put up with me...it's because you love me!" His smile only grew wider.

Lovino's breathing stopped. He'd never actually told the man he loved him before. To avoid embarressment he changed the subject and put on a fake frown. "We really should be getting to class. Professor Edelstein will be mad if we're late and I don't want to deal with his whining."

Antonio pretended to shrug off the other's rejection like it was nothing. "Oh, yeah. I suppose we should." He let go of the Italian's hand and they continued to walk in awkward silence until they reached their class.

"You can go in first." Antonio didn't meet Lovino's gaze. It was obvious he was hurt by the younger's rejection but Lovino's tsundere side wouldn't allow him to speak his true feelings. Especially with the other students inside staring at him with the other man. "Okay, yeah." He said and walked inside, taking his usual seat beside his brother and his German boyfriend.

Antonio walked in a few minutes later flanked by his best friends Francis and Gilbert. Lovino could hear their conversation from where he was sitting.

"And so I said to him, "Baby, I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate." And then he nearly choked on his scone right then and there!"

"Then what'd you do?"

"Well, first I had to push his annoying oaf of a stalker off of him. Then I said to him, "Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway." And he was so mad but he finally came around and-."

"Francis! Save the chit-chaticle sidedeals for later!" Professor Edelstein huffed in frustration, his Austrian accent really stressing the vowels.

Lovino sighed, resting his chin on his hand as he zoned out for most of the lecture. His thoughts kept going back to the pained look on Antonio's face when he didn't tell him he returned his feelings. He was ultimately pulled from his daydreaming by an angered Austrian.

"Hey, you three! Yes, you- Antonio, Francis and Gilbert! Get out of here, you're causing too much noise!" Professor Edelstein yelled, pointing towards the door for them to leave.

The albino man known as Gilbert stood up and laughed. "Okay, fine, your class is boring anyway. See ya, Specs!" He winked as he walked out the door followed by his two friends.

Lovino'a gaze followed Antonio even after he had disappeared down the hallway. He let out another sigh, looking down at the papers in front of him.

His brother, Feliciano, looked at him. "What's wrong Romano?"

"It's nothing. Now mind your own business!" He growled, pressing on his pencil so hard the lead broke and flew across the room. "Stupid nosy bastard."

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><p>"Dude, I'm so bored. Let's go do something interesting." Gilbert complained, throwing his cards on the floor.<p>

Francis looked up at him lazily, his blonde hair falling in his face. "Well, like what?"

The Prussian put his hand to his chin, contemplating thought. "Hmm, bar?"

Francis shrugged, burying his face in his forearm. "Sounds good to me."

Gilbert looked over at Antonio who had barely talked the entire time since they left the classroom. "What about you, you up for it?"

"Yeah, sure." He had been looking down at his phone every 5 seconds for the past 2 hours now. Lovino hadn't texted him. Not even once. He sighed and slipped it into his pocket.

Gilbert smirked and fist pumped the air. "Alright! It's beer o'clock!" He frowned when Francis didn't move. "Hey, come on." He nudged him with his foot and the French man sat up quickly, a look of pure disguest dominating his features.

"Hey, don't touch this gorgeousness with your nasty feet!" He shivered as Gilbert inched his foot closer to him tauntingly.

"Kesese I'm gonna touch you with my feet! And guess what? I haven't washed them in a week! Ha!" Gilbert hopped around the room on one foot, trying to touch the Frenchman again.

"You guys.." Antonio chuckled softly, he knew he could always count on them to cheer him up, even if it was for just a moment.

Gilbert looked over at Antonio, his foot on Francis' face. "Hey, look, it speaks!"

"Of course I speak." Antonio rolled his eyes and helped Francis free from the wrath of the albino's foot.

"I CAN BREATH FRESH AIR AGAIN!" Francis exclaimed dramtically as he pretended to faint.

Gilbert quickly put his shoes on, tucking the laces into his socks. "Yeah, whatever, they don't smell that bad."

"Hey cut it out you two. We need to hurry up and get to the bar, it's almost opening time." Antonio exclaimed excitedly, eager to taste their (the bar's) famous fresh tomates.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Francis said running a hand through his golden locks.

"We didn't need to know that.." Gilbert grumbled, receiving an elbow in the ribs from Francis. "Ow!"

Antonio grabbed his keys from his pocket and put on a smile. "Well, I'll be waiting in the car, you two had better hurry up or I'm leaving without you." He laughed, trying to loosen the tension as he opened the door and walked outside towards his Ferrari S.p.A. He sighed as he got in the driver's seat, remembering that a year ago on this date Lovino had gotten him this as a present.

_"S.p.A, huh? What's it stand for?" Antonio could remember asking. _

_He could recall the exact shade of red his lover's face had been at the moment. Red as a tomato. "It's the S.p.A from España.." He had said, trying to hide his obvious blush._

_"Awe, mi tomate, you named your car after me?" He had hugged the Italian tight, planting kisses all over his face._

_"G-Get off me, tomato bastard!" Lovino squeaked, as he pushed at the Spaniard's chest to no avail._

_..Later that night would be the first time they had slept together. _

He sighed as he was pulled from the memories when the car beeped, signaling that someone opened the door.

Francis slid in the passenger's side seat. "Gil said he'd be out in a sec; he's locking up."

Antonio nodded and started the car. As promised, Gilbert came running outside the dorm at top speed. When he got to the car he jerked the back door open and hopped in. "Hey, come on, I'm ready to get my drunk on!" He panted, slightly out of breath.

Antonio carefully pulled out of the driveway and off campus. "Geez, you sound like you ran a freaking marathon. You need to exercise more, mi amigo." He laughed as Gilbert smacked him upside his head.

"Shuddup, you have no room to talk with all those churros you eat."

"Mmm churros." Antonio licked his lips, pulling up to a red light.

"Hey do you think they'll have karaoke tonight?" Gilbert asked, leaning up between the driver and passenger seats.

Francis and Antonio both shrugged.

Gilbert slumped back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. "Man, you guys suck."

"If we do, then you do too, because you didn't know either." Antonio laughed, as he turned sharply into the bar's parking lot.

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><p>"God dammit, where the Hell could that bastard be?" Lovino cursed silently to himself. He was wrapped up in their covers and leaning against the wall, hoping to see the familiar figure of Antonio walk through the door any minute. He'd been hoping that for the past five or six hours now.<p>

He sighed again, burying his face in his hands. Why was he so terrible? Why couldn't he just tell him those three little words? "They may be little but they mean so much..." He whispered softly, a single glistening tear traveling down his cheek.

Lovino felt ashamed. He shouldn't be crying over something to trivial. He was just glad that no one was there to see him breaking down. A few more tears escaped and he used his sleeve to wipe them away, sniffing as he whispered. "I do love him...Antonio, please come home."

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><p>"Whoa, you did what?" Francis exclimed. Both he and Antonio were staring at Gilbert as if he had three heads, their mouths were hanging wide open.<p>

"Ya heard me. I said I've been screwin' 'round with Specs." Gilbert slurred. He was on his tenth beer and usually that's when he got real chatty.

"I can't believe you're messing with the teacher, do you realize how much trouble you could get into?" Antonio shook his head as he bit into a ripened tomato, the juices flowing down his chin.

"Ya, but he's hot. I mean have ya seen that ass? Damn." He said, taking the last gulp of his beer as he slumped forward onto the bar counter.

Francis chuckled as he sipped at his wine. "I think we should be getting home, Gil's already passed out and it's getting late. I'm sure Lovino's worried about you."

The brunette avoided his gaze, shifting his eyes to the side. "Yeah, I'm sure...but you're right, come on. Let's go." He said, easily picking the Prussian up and putting him over his shoulder.

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><p>Lovino stared down at his phone, silently running his thumb across the screen. His lower lip quivered as he continued to stare at the picture of he and Antonio on their first date. The Spaniard had stolen his phone and taken the picture of the two of them. Lovino looked upset, of course, but he was still blushing despite the look on his face.<p>

The sound of the door being unlocked made Lovino look up to see the Spaniard quietly come in. His eyes met Lovino's and he could still see the sadness in them.

"Hey, what are you still doing up? It's almost midnight." He murmered, sliding off his jacket and kicking off his shoes.

Lovino ignored his question and got up walking over to hug him, burying his face in his chest and inhaling his familiar scent. "You stupid bastard. How could you just leave me like that? I was so worried about you. Dammit!" He cursed as the tears came back.

" 'Ey, Lovi, shhh. It's okay." Antonio whispered softly, wrapping his arm around the Italian's waist using the other to force him to look at him. "I promise, mi amor."

Lovino stared into those big green eyes he knew all too well. "An-Antonio...I..."

"I know you're sorry, it's okay, I understand." The brunette said, leaning down and kissing his Italian on the forehead.

Lovino pushed him away. "No, dammit, that's not what I was going to say! You're such a bastard!"

Antonio let his arms fall limply to his sides as he stared at his lover. "Then what is it?"

The younger male turned around, his arms folded over his chest as he mumbled something the other couldn't hear.

Antonio stepped closer. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Iloveyoustupidtomatobastard." Lovino said louder, but still so fast Antonio couldn't make it out.

"Hmm? You have to slow down I can't understand you."

Lovino turned back around, his face a bright red as he looked down with a cross expression on his face. "I said I love you, you stupid tomato bastard."

Antonio blinked. Once. Twice. Slowly a smile carressed his face. "Did you just say you love me, little Lovi?"

"Si, dammit!" He said, his face growing brighter by the minute.

"Awh, te amo tanto!" Antonio laughed, hugging the younger close. For once Lovino didn't struggle against the Spaniard's overbearing affection. Knowing he loved Antonio back. This new feeling. It actually felt...nice...not that Lovino would ever admit that, of course.

"I can't wait to tell everyone you said it back! You actually did!" Antonio cooed, rubbing his cheek against Lovino's.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Idiota." He smiled and kissed the Spaniard's lips, effectively shutting him up.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews are loved! ^-^ Please leave critiques on how I can improve, if you can, I could really use it!**


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